tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683970826895755480.post7969108842321490682..comments2024-03-28T00:17:55.823+00:00Comments on Bruce Charlton's Notions: My attempted completion of Frodo's poem: O! Wanderers in the shadowed landBruce Charltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09615189090601688535noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683970826895755480.post-36892237674929171372021-02-20T16:29:30.899+00:002021-02-20T16:29:30.899+00:00For what it's worth Bruce, I think you and Wil...For what it's worth Bruce, I think you and William have hit on it with:<br /><br />'as out of shadow wends the trail.'<br /><br />When you read the whole thing together (especially out loud), this ending gives the poem a really satisfying finish..caehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05126263938544146422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683970826895755480.post-45039135347292042682021-02-20T11:23:37.823+00:002021-02-20T11:23:37.823+00:00It can be seen why poems are not written by commit...It can be seen why poems are not written by committee! Even when several people contribute useful ideas - in the end it should always be a matter of a single individual's judgment. Bruce Charltonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09615189090601688535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683970826895755480.post-69532575888354838932021-02-20T07:34:22.008+00:002021-02-20T07:34:22.008+00:00“the trail”“the trail”Wm Jas Tychonievichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07446790072877463982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683970826895755480.post-41366504326557417192021-02-19T16:48:36.127+00:002021-02-19T16:48:36.127+00:00Ending with reference to the beginning is a nice c...Ending with reference to the beginning is a nice completion (referencing shadow & trail associated with Wanderers). <br /><br />Since the poem is speaking to specific Wanderers, could you replace "each" with "our" our "your"?Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07815695560953002699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683970826895755480.post-12310160506458100992021-02-19T07:25:12.584+00:002021-02-19T07:25:12.584+00:00@ Wm - I think we're getting there
So far I ...@ Wm - I think we're getting there <br /><br />So far I like best the combination of both our notions:<br /><br />For east or west, all woods must fail,<br />as out of shadow wends each trail. <br /><br />But I don't much like the sound of 'each'.<br /><br />I think the key is shadow/s and trail, which you suggested - perhaps the other elements are down to personal preference, and what fits with the rest of the poem, his vocabulary and sounds (that's what's wrong with sunlit hill succeed on vale - 'succeed' sounds too eighteenth century and 'Latinate' for Tolkien). Bruce Charltonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09615189090601688535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683970826895755480.post-50678191047807981572021-02-18T17:25:49.098+00:002021-02-18T17:25:49.098+00:00"Wend" is good, but I don't like the..."Wend" is good, but I don't like the "as," the present tense, and the "our"! This is about all woods everywhere, not our particular trail. Maybe,<br /><br />For east or west, all woods must fail,<br />and out of shadow wend each trail.<br /><br />Or, with nod to Dante,<br /><br />For east or west, all woods must fail,<br />and sunlit hill succeed on vale.Wm Jas Tychonievichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07446790072877463982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683970826895755480.post-25828120407685000092021-02-18T13:29:10.085+00:002021-02-18T13:29:10.085+00:00@Wm
Some good ideas - what about?
For east or we...@Wm<br /><br />Some good ideas - what about?<br /><br />For east or west, all woods must fail...<br />as out of shadows wends our trail.Bruce Charltonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09615189090601688535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683970826895755480.post-43955678100587978702021-02-18T10:09:02.756+00:002021-02-18T10:09:02.756+00:00For east or west, all woods must fail,
and out of ...For east or west, all woods must fail,<br />and out of shadow pass the trail.Wm Jas Tychonievichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07446790072877463982noreply@blogger.com