Up to the time of my conversion to Christianity - I was not without religion. And in some ways it was satisfactory, but the ways in which it was not are instructive.
If we analyse the situation in terms of the transcendental qualities of Truth, Beauty and Virtue in Unity; I had the first two.
As a vocational scientist, I was exceptionally devoted to the truth - in small and in large. As a deep appreciator and (somewhat) practitioner of the arts (especially literature and music) I discerned and loved beauty. Indeed, in my life, these two - Truth and Beauty - were substantially unified. For example; I recognised that scientific truth was accompanied, and identified as, beautiful.
But I lacked a proper appreciation of Virtue; and as such was readily manipulated by the Establishment into tracking my understanding of virtue against the imposed trends of modernity.
Furthermore, denying God, I did not have a sense of the Unity of everything in God's creation; and was plagued by a doubt in the reality of purpose and meaning.
Becoming a Christian; I had the great experience of feeling Truth and Beauty being joined with Virtue; locked in a Unity.