Saturday 29 February 2020

The dark chocolate scam

Hardly anybody I have met genuinely prefers 'dark chocolate' to milk or white. I realise there are abstract persons that claim to do so; but wherever I have been, in whatever context - when there is a chocolate selection on offer the milk chocolate goes first, followed any white chocolate - and the dark chocolates are left to the end (and often get chucked-out).


Myself, I can eat dark chocolate; but I don't really enjoy it - and since enjoyment is the only reason for eating chocolate, often I can't be bothered.

My daughter claims to like dark chocolate - but objects to being allowed to have only darks - even when this means that she gets both half of the usual, crazy, 50% dark: 50% milk & white chocolate selection - plus a share of the rest... This tells me that she does not really prefer the darks; but is merely better able to tolerate them.

I like milk and white equally, my wife only white (in other words: she doesn't like chocolate), my son only milk - so we cover the whole spectrum; but the common factor is that all those who like chocolate, like milk chocolate. And surely the most successful chocolate selection is Cadbury's Milk Tray - i.e. all milk chocolates; or Nestle's Quality Street - milk chocolates and toffees? 

So why have dark chocolate at all? Partly, no doubt, due to advertisers having built-up an impression that it is 'sophisticated' to do so. Any food that lacks spontaneous appeal can become 'sophisticated' - like blue cheese, dry wine or brussel sprouts; since people must learn to like it (and children don't).

But I suspect something more sinister. After all, there seems no compelling reason to have dark chocolate at all, let alone at fifty (or more) percent of a chocolate selection (plus insidiously rippled-through or onto milk or white... yuck!). There must be something put-into it, I feel - either a toxic waste product is being got-rid-of, by making people eat it; or else some kind of mind-controlling drug is being deployed (directed at The Establishment).

I am pretty sure that a survey of people who pretend to prefer dark chocolate would reveal that they suffer from a whole raft of psychiatric, probably psychopathic, behaviours. For example, the kind of people who say they enjoy dark chocolate include Francophiles, global-warmists and similar totalitarian Satan-serving bureaucrats...

(I'm not saying that there is a one-to-one relationship; but a highly-significant correlation is surely undeniable.)

At any rate, the current program of dark chocolate propagation (especially the half-and-half rule imposed-on expensive selections) is not the kind of thing that should simply be accepted as inevitable. Protective legislation may be necessary.

36 comments:

Wm Jas Tychonievich said...

I genuinely prefer dark chocolate -- so there's another data point in favor of the psychopathic Francophile theory. I have little interest in sweets other than chocolate, and the chocolatier (darker = more cacao), the better.

For what it's worth, I also like blue cheese and dry red wine -- but I do draw the line at Brussels sprouts!

Wm Jas Tychonievich said...

I genuinely prefer dark chocolate -- so there's another data point in favor of the psychopathic Francophile theory. I have little interest in sweets other than chocolate, and the chocolatier (darker = more cacao), the better.

For what it's worth, I also like blue cheese and dry red wine -- but I do draw the line at Brussels sprouts!

Francis Berger said...

Very amusing. I haven't eaten chocolate in years. When I still did eat chocolate, I preferred the dark stuff. I also like blue cheese and brussel sprouts, which means I got some serious issues. On the upside, I am not a Francophile - but I am a Frankophile.

Bruce Charlton said...

@Wm and Frank - I'm disappointed that neither of you are prepared to acknowledge *and repent* your sins.

Wm Jas Tychonievich said...

The appeal of Brussels sprouts to amateur dictators is a well-known fact.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGLBBolqiZg

William Wildblood said...

Melted dark chocolate on vanilla ice cream is nice though I can't say I've had it in a long while. Brussel sprouts are one of the best vegetables. I wouldn't turn down a dry sherry though my father claimed it was a drink for women and vicars. He was of the old school.

Wm Jas Tychonievich said...

Sorry, William. Dark chocolate + ice cream = milk chocolate.

Bruce Charlton said...

I'm very disappointed to discover I have been mixing with "I pretend to like dark chocolate" types...

Only one such could suppose that milk chocolate could be made from dark with ice cream. Dark Chocolate is Completely Different from milk - and diluting DC with IC just makes dilute dark chocolate.

You don't deserve it; but I'll tell you what goes well with vanilla ice cream, and that is poured-on double cream; it freezes to make a solid cream shell over the IC, which is delicious.

However, it's hard to fit any of this stuff into the low carb diet upon which I subsist (you couldn't call it 'living').

William Wildblood said...

Wm Jas, sort of but I'll go with Bruce on that. To redeem myself I do agree about the double cream poured over ice cream though greek yoghurt with honey is my main pudding excitement these days.

David Smith said...

Yet another way in which we differ, not to say disagree, but differ - I strongly prefer dark (not unsweetened) to milk- or white-chocolate.

But then, I'm entirely prepared to believe that you actually believe that milk- or white-chocolate are your favorites - that you are being honest about your preference.

Oh, and that's another way in which we differ!

Wm Jas Tychonievich said...

Surely someone’s got to agree with Bruce on this! Anyone?

And ice cream with cream? Really? Reminds me of how here in Taiwan one of the most popular ice cream flavors is “milk,” which is totally NOT even a flavor!

Francis Berger said...

@William W. - I can only imagine how irritated Bruce would be if someone served FRENCH vanilla ice cream covered in melted dark chocolate.

Matthew T said...

Surely someone’s got to agree with Bruce on this! Anyone?

Well, how about this: I theoretically prefer milk chocolate, except that without fail it makes me break out in pimples like a teenager, but dark chocolate doesn't.

(This is by contrast to the "scientific" studies which repeatedly claim that the link between chocolate and acne is mythological. Nuts! I believe my lying eyes.)

Matthew T said...

"here in Taiwan one of the most popular ice cream flavors is “milk,”

Hahaha wat?!

Jonathan said...

Well, I'm firmly with Bruce here, and scandalized by the replies. In the dictionary next to "disappointment", they should write "an all-dark chocolate assortment". What a waste, to leave out the magical milky manna that turns bitter cacao beans into the divine flavor bonanza that God intended for his children. I suppose you barbarians in the comment section drink your English Breakfast without a trace of milk too, the better to reflect the color of your souls.

Luke said...

I agree with Bruce at least with respect to eating chocolate.
I do often use dark chocolate when making hot chocolate, as it makes a stronger flavor which is pleasant in very cold weather.

@Wm Jas In Italy fior di latte is popular, which is just gelato with nothing added. It is quite good, mild and sweet.

Chikondi said...

I genuinely prefer real dark chocolate, but not anything Cadbury eft al try to pass off ad 'chocolate' since the early 2000s, when they started adulterating it with things like Illipe butter, Shea butter, palm oil, etc. They Aldo use low grade cacao beans that are over fermented and mouldy. Try a chocolate from Love Cocoa, established by James Cadbury, great-great grandson of the famous Cadbury.

Bruce Charlton said...

Aside from Jonathan, this has been one of the most depressing comment threads in the history of this blog. Despair is a sin but I'm close...

dearieme said...

I prefer dark. I also like blue cheese but not sprouts.

As a test ignore expensive choccies: simply try the milk choc and dark choc versions of a Bounty Bar. The dark wins by miles for me.

In fact I can think of only two comestibles that I enjoy that use milk chocolate. (i) At Christmas I am always given the treat of a big tube of Smarties. Ace! (ii) I enjoy a Picnic Bar from time to time.

Long ago when I travelled by train a lot there was a third milk choc product I'd eat: station vending machines would sell me a bar of Nestle's rice-and-chocolate. Not bad on a cold night. But I was just a teenager.

Cererean said...

Hmm, I haven't had dark chocolate in quite a while. I don't mind it though, so, like your daughter, if there are any left over after we've shared out the rest of the chocolates...

No, it's the coconut ones I have to leave.

I'll have to try the cream over ice cream idea. After Lent, of course.

Howard Ramsey Sutherland said...

I must have spent too much time on the Continent, as I quite like blue (or is it bleu?) cheese and prefer wine red and dry. (Exception for port, sherry, and madeira; there my tastes are English.) As for beer, my taste is English: I'll take a pint of bitter over any lager, even if it is fancy and Belgian.

Cooked properly, brussels sprouts are delicious. The name-association is unjust: there was a Brussels long before there was a demonic EU and I don't think it's the Flemings' fault the EU's tower of babble was sited there. The Emperor Charles V grew up in Brussels, and was fond of the place.

But about chocolate, Bruce, you are right. None of the other variants remotely compares to milk chocolate for sheer delight. My order of preference, though, would be milk first, dark a remote second, and white (too sweet) third - although not as far behind dark as dark is behind milk.

What's behind Taiwan's fondness for milk ice-cream, whatever that is? I thought that in the Orient milk was considered food for cats and babies.

Bruce Charlton said...

@d "station vending machines would sell me a bar of Nestle's rice-and-chocolate" - Well, well - *exactly* my opinion too and I was about to write about it earlier - but with all the support for dark chocolate on view, I lost the will...

stef said...

Genetics and habits come into play here too -- it's not just conditioning from the media.

Some people are strongly sensitive to bitter, most inbetween, and some gravitate toward it. The former often dislike most any vegetable, objecting to even the slightest hint of bitter. Fondness for bitter tastes has correlation to higher incidence of psychopathic traits (you'll find that claim via searching).

If you eat a higher carb and especially higher sugar diet, your perception is relatively blunted. Go low carb and regular bread starts to smell as sweet as sweet rolls.

Myself, I like to eat 90%+ chocolate, and adore gin, black coffee, and dandelions & other bitter greens. Since I need to avoid carbs and sugar for weight control reasons, this works out all right for me. Also, no one tries to run off with my unsweetened block of chocolate...

a_probst said...

I am not surprised to see twenty-one comments before mine. A humorist here one called chocolate the fifth basic food group. There is a bumper sticker that says, "Surrender the chocolate and no one gets hurt."

My take is that the preference for dark chocolate is an American thing. The US chocolatiers with the most pervasive market penetration, chief among them Hershey's, make very poor milk chocolate. In the '60s Hershey added a bar to their lineup that they labeled "Semi-Sweet". This may have been dark chocolate under another name, but I can't remember.

The first time I had a Cadbury Orange in the '80s I was astounded--I could actually taste the milk in the milk chocolate. A little later I discovered that a liquor store on Holloway Drive, a small street that connects Santa Monica Blvd with the Sunset Strip in West Hollywood, was selling such treats as the Cadbury Caramello Bars and Smarties, the latter being like M&M's except that the drops were larger and the candy shells had a different flavor with each color. Bliss.

Later I saw a giant Cadbury's Carmello Bar at a chain drug store. Perfect gift with Fathers' Day coming up the next Sunday, I thought. Wrong. When we opened it and ate it, it was... fair, nothing impressive. Then I looked at the back label. It was manufactured under license by Hershey's! Many American buyers probably think that this is how Cadbury's tastes and wonder what the fuss is about. I only buy Cadbury's from specialty stores that sell the imported product.

With Hershey's so ubiquitous I tend to favor their dark chocolates if available. These take the form of little wrapped pieces that receptionists where I work leave out for the taking. Curiously they taste better than the whole Hershey dark chocolate bars. Must be from a different section of the factory.

A chain of stores called Trader Joe's sells imported Belgian chocolate under the store's own label. (And with the razzing British humourists give Belgium, I can't be certain what effect that fact has on you readers. Douglas Adams even used the name as a swear word.) The bars weigh a half-kilogram and are molded for breaking. I assumed I would like the dark chocolate bar but strange to say, it's insipid! My favorite is the 'bitter-sweet' version which may be milk chocolate with less sweetening. Haven't had it in awhile and maybe I won't again--a cursory internet search of Trader Joe's chocolates turns up only the milk, the dark, and the 72% cacao versions.

Wm Jas Tychonievich said...

Howard, milk is indeed food for cats and babies, but it’s increasingly popular here nonetheless. This despite the fact that basically all Chinese people are lactose intolerant! The Taiwanese are proud of having invented a revolting concoction called “pearl milk tea” — the “pearls” being little balls of tapioca which you suck up through an abnormally wide straw.

Joseph A. said...

I second Wm Jas Tychonievich's comment -- the darker, the better. 70% and 85% bars are my favorites. I also love blue cheese, though I don't know enough about wine to say. For cheese, Stilton is the best, but I'm fond of Gorgonzola, too. I also love vinegary sauces and foods -- I crave them (really crave them) the way normal people seem to crave sugary foods. My sister and one of my brothers are the same . . . for us, bitter is beautiful!

Bruce Charlton said...

@a_probst - Yes, I am talking from an English persepctive. The worst (milk) chocolate sold in England is better than that on a Hershey bar. WHen I had an HB (while working in the US) it reminded me of the time when I was four or five and found some old foil-covered Christmas tree decorations in storage from from one or two years before; and I tried to eat them. Hershey has that same stale, sickly, dry kind of taste and texture.

In the past few decades there have been some wonderful, but very expensive, Beligian chocloates available - esepcially from Thorntons; but these are often contaminated with dark chocolate. By milk chocolate I mean ordinary everyday products such as Cadbury's dairy milk, Nestle (which, as dearieme indicated, could only be bought from - naturally chilled - machines at railway stations when I was a kid!), and the various others from Rowntrees, Fry's and Mars - esepcially their Galaxy bar, which is my favouritie for its silky creamy smoothness.

(Most of the chocolate makers here were Quakers, and they tended to build rather beatiful model towns for their workers - like Cadbury's Bournville - who were probably the best treated in the country; assuming they could tolerate/ match up to the teetotal and puritanical/ nonconformist conditions of residence. My wife went to school in Saltaire, Yorkshire - which was another rather attractive Quaker artisan model town, but for a textile mill.)

wrt White Chocolate, Milky Bar has never been beaten for its intense sweetness. It is the perfect food to finish lunch when out walking on the hills. It is also - and always has been - surprisingly expensive per unit weight; one has to pay for quality, I guess.

Caramac is not really chocolate, but something like a combination of white chocolate and toffee; and it is a negelected piece of genius; having an absolutely delicious taste and texture. Again, it is expensive for its weight.

However, as I indicated above, I almost never have any kind of chocolate or sweets nowadays, and two out of three daily meals are merely various combinations of nuts and cheese - with proper food (especially meat, as much as possible) restricted to evenings. This purely for health reasons (a blood sugar reducing diet that works and is sustainable) - and I have not found it made me feel or function any better except as a consequence of somewhat reduced weight on the arthritic knees.

dearieme said...

Here's another test. I have been brought prezzies from Istanbul consisting of bars of chocolate and pistachios; both plain and milk chocolate. The plain wins hands down. I don't each much chocolate but I must say this combo works awfully well. One manufacturer is Nestle but I've never seen the product in Britain.

A million years ago Cadbury sold a plain chocolate and almond bar. Whole almonds , not crushed. It was super but I haven't seen it in decades.

Karl said...

Hershey's milk chocolate is an acquired taste, acquired in the same way as one's mother tongue, through exposure from parents and older members of one's community who think it perfectly natural. As you are probably aware, it is made with sour milk. To me it is delightful. When I encounter varieties of milk chocolate made with fresh milk, I find them bland and over sweet.

dearieme said...

Caramac: vox pop at Sainsbury's is not much impressed e.g.

Urgh ! Tasteless and gritty
On a nostalgia trip with family, I ordered Caramac, and it is just nothing at all like it used to be. It should have been a caramel colour, like a fake deep orange is how we remembered it from our childhood, with a taste of caramel and chocolate combined, but this was really sickly sweet and nasty, tasting of nothing very much at all, certainly nothing like it used to taste, and with a gritty texture.

dearieme said...

I claim to be one of the few Britons who can eat Hershey bars without a grimace - because of childhood Christmas presents from the US.

My mother thought me a "brave little soldier".

Bruce Charlton said...

@d - Shame, but not surprising. My absolute favourite sweet when a kid was Fry's Turkish Delight - but nowadays it is vile stuff, since (apparently) 'they' refuse to use real Turkish Delight for fear of offending vegans, or something.

dearieme said...

"My absolute favourite sweet when a kid was Fry's Turkish Delight": then we wouldn't have let you join our gang. We Mars barred.

Interdimensional Spiritualwarrior said...

I won’t say I enjoy dark chocolate, I don’t. On the occasions I have bought green and blacks 90% has been because of all the talk of special polyphenols, epigalleo catechins or whatever, and even resveratrol. So that’s why I’ve forced it down. But haven’t had it for a year or two .

Rich said...

Dark chocolate all day, delicious and satiating. I'm afraid I also enjoy the blue stuff. Brussels I can do without.

Bruce,youve mentioned your arthritis a few times in comments past. Have you ever tried eliminating polyunsaturated fatty acids? It did wonders for my allergies and my wife's carpal tunnel.

Joe said...

Thank you for this stunning and clear reminder that even wise men err.

The best chocolate of all that I've sampled is the Lindt 90% bars, the sweet spot between their too-bitter 99% and their disappointingly sugary 85%. The whole range between roughly 60% and 90% is an unhappy compromise between a focus on a sweet candy and a focus on the chocolate flavour itself.

Most of what is called "chocolate" is actually primarily sugar, and should be called "chocolate-flavoured candy".