Friendship between adult men and women

I don't like to write much of a personal nature on this blog, and I don't intend to start; so don't ask! 

But it strikes me that friendship between adults men and women is a topic almost wholly neglected; indeed the possibility is sometimes outright denied, or else regarded as of insignificant importance compared with M-F sexual relationships, and male-male friendships. 

And my own contrary experience is relevant evidence; and so may be worth describing - in general terms, at least - in order to make a point and support an argument. 

In my adult life between late teens are early thirties (when I married) I had several serious, reasonably long-term, women friends who were pretty much distinct from the girlfriends. 

These were all women whom I respected and found attractive, but the relationship was not primarily romantic - and we both typically dated others during the span of friendship.  

What I find interesting in retrospect is that, looking-back, I have more positive memories about my women friends than my ex-girlfriends. Indeed, from here it seems as if the friendships were more wholesome and probably did me more lasting good than the relationships with girlfriends! 

Unsurprisingly; friendships with women seem to occupy a different category than those between men. 

Male friendships are mostly about shared interests and purposes. Women friendships require a broadly common interest, in order that activities be shared; but are less functional... this needs further explanation. 

I suppose all genuine friendship is voluntary and (therefore) must include mutuality: benefit on both sides. 

There is a sense that male friendships are more "functional", more focused on the business of living. It could be said that a rewarding aspect of male friendship is the sense that the both men thinks the other is "worth" expending time and effort on. 

In terms of benefit; "worth" in M-M friendship typically has some functional aspect - perhaps in terms of status, money, achievement - or at least in terms of the convenience of someone to discuss a serious hobby, watch or attend sports events etc. 

With a female friend, mutuality is also the case, but the "benefit" is less of a functional matter; and the conversation typically less focused. 

I think what is especially rewarding in man-woman friendships is that someone of the opposite sex whom we respect and find attractive, apparently feels much the same about us; such as to spend time in our company. 

So the "benefit" of M-F friendship is perhaps mostly a matter of self-worth as a human being. At best, it is about having a place and a stake in "life", by which we are linked with another person in a chosen and complementary way.  

And maybe that is why such friendships with women have apparently left-behind good memories; despite the relationship largely lacking tangible, explicit, or material "benefits"?    

It might be argued that friendship between a man and woman cannot be stable because of the inevitable sexual tensions and potential for these to change over time, and perhaps each in different directions.

And this is probably true. But then some of these M-F friendships did last for several years, which is significant; and on the other side, male friendships were also often temporary and dependent on context and convenience. 

After all, this mortal life is not, and cannot be, stable. It makes sense to value all that is positive and significant; despite that it will ultimately, inevitably, be partial and temporary.