Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Great Rubbish Beards of All Time

I personally cannot grow a decent beard (fair skin, reddish hair, Nordic ancestry etc) - but I have done my bit for the aesthetics of earthly life by remaining clean shaven.

It therefore offends me particularly, when famous people sport rubbish beards and nobody calls them on it.

So... Second runner up: The egregious jerk Russell Brand -

Runner up: The massively talented (but weedily hirsute) Johnny Depp -

The Winner, rubbishest Beard of All Time - that over-rated, pretentious embodiment of alopecia areata... Che Guevara!


  1. Ho! Also largely british, celt, and nordic ancestry. When I try to grow a beard people start mistaking me for a Lenin or Trotsky wannabe. The rest of the hair just doesn't come in.

  2. "Rubbish beard" must be a Britishism. What does it mean? Scraggly and unkempt?

  3. JP--

    My guess is that the hairs are far apart and either grow slowly or do not grow "regularly."

    When I don't shave for a month, I have a pretty rubbish beard. Therefore I too shave so as not to look ridiculous.

    Early Christian Rubbish Beards: While he is a giant and a firebrand, St. John Chrysostom had a pretty pathetic "beard" compared to his contemporaries (and certainly compared to the Cappadocians). Assuming he kept the monastic practices all his life, what we see of his beard in iconography is as good as it gets.

  4. Have I seen you, on a rustic path, wearing a tweed hat and wielding a walking stick? Amis disapproves.

  5. I could have sworn that last time you mentioned Russell Brand and I looked him up, he was some kind of businessman. Now, according to Wikipedia, he is and always has been a comedian. What's up with that?

  6. @WmJas - RB is taken seriously as an ultra-Left politician by some of the UK media.

  7. Strange, how much Russell looks like Che.

  8. @Anon- Yes, it's a remarkable coincidence isn't it...