Tuesday 26 September 2017

Dry times - part of the experience

This is a dry time for me. Since I wrote several blogs about primary thinking, I have found myself first taking a welcome break and doing other things (and, probably, becoming reliant on external stimuli); and then (and currently) unable to be aware of my thinking - lacking the clarity-of-knowing which I had recently grasped.

I can remember that I was doing primary thinking, but I cannot re-live nor actively experience what it was like; nor how to do it. There is a block of fuzziness standing between what I want to do and the thinking itself...

Such dry times seem to have been a feature of my life - and dryness (disaffection, incipient despair or the like) always follow any kind of apparent breakthrough - what they show, forcibly, is that the breakthrough was much less robust than it seemed at the time.

I thought that I knew solidly... but I didn't really, it wasn't solid.

Of course, this is what would be expected since this mortal life is a time of experiencing and learning.

There is nothing to be gained by merely 'basking' in achievement... We get a few hours or a couple of days of basking, as a psychological reward for progress - however, then we need to get on and learn something else, or learn what we thought we already had learned - but more deeply.

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