Monday, 16 December 2024

There is no excuse for smooth peanut butter

The best of the best

Smooth peanut butter is, of course, fine; yet the point is that crunchy peanut butter is objectively better - so why does smooth peanut butter even exist? 


The fact that we have all eaten smooth Pnut B when nothing else was available begs the question as to why the crunchy was not available? And the answer is that resources had been squandered through being illegitimately diverted into making smooth. 

If the smooth had not been manufactured in the first place, then there would be no shortage of crunchy!


It might be objected that "some people" actually prefer smooth peanut butter... 

But firstly I doubt if this is true (have you ever actually met such a person? And would you admit to it if you had?). 

Secondly I would ask: should we be pandering to such people? They need psychological help, not to be encouraged in their delusion by the continued availability of smooth peanut butter.  


20 comments:

Laeth said...

heartily agree, with no caveats or nuances. crunchy peanut butter is (clearly) what God and Nature intended.

Bruce Charlton said...

@Laeth - I'd have expected no less from you.

Lucas said...

Suddenly I discovered I have a strong opinion about peanut butter. Possibly double negative!

WanderingGondola said...

I'm afraid I must object. Fussiness over the texture of food, such as crunchy peanut butter, is the least of my psychological problems!

William Wildblood said...

Also agree, but I'm really commenting to ask this. Does any other blog cover such a wide range of subjects?

Bruce Charlton said...

@WG - That remark says a lot about you.

William W - I have a lot of Notions, on many themes.

WanderingGondola said...

I can't discern the manner in which you mean that.

Bruce Charlton said...

@WG - The fact you regard this vital issue as "fussiness" speaks volumes...

Pk said...

First cast out the peanut chunk in thine eye before criticizing my smooth 100% natural PB

Bruce Charlton said...

@Pk - Repent! Oh thou sinner.

Pk said...

There is one excuse for the sinful smooth PB. The commercial chunky type is made by adding coarse ground nuts back into the smooth butter. Without smooth PB you’d have nothing but an inconsistent mud.

WJT said...

Hear, hear! Now do Genoa salami.

cae said...

I agree to the preference for "crunchy" - alas, the extra chewing involved disagrees with the musculature & joint of my left jaw, which suffers from years of TMJ syndrome...if ever I write my memoirs (in the third person), surely there will be a chapter which begins:
"My crunchy PB days are over, she lamented piteously while standing broodingly before the pantry...."

Francis Berger said...

I can't eat peanut butter because it gives me hives, but if memory serves me well, the hives were always worse when I ate smooth peanut butter.

Andrew said...

Is this a fundamental assertion regarding food textures? Would Ketchup and Hummus be better with chunks?

Andrew said...

That doesn't really work actually, because the product is still not quite the same.

It's more akin to yogurt being better with chocolate, granola or berries added, which is better.

Wm Jas Tychonievich said...

Isaiah doesn’t have anything good to say about those who demand “smooth things.”

Stephen Macdonald said...

In Canada the crunchy stuff is normally found in jars bearing a red cap. The smooth is in jars with a green cap. This psychological manipulation is compounded by one rogue manufacturer who in an attempt to undermine the last vestiges of our collective moral fiber, switched the caps for their brand so that the bland, inferior smooth sports a red cap, and their crunchy a green one. This makes it necessary to inspect the label carefully. I learned my lesson the hard way (soft way?) by one day inadvertently consuming what I thought was proper peanut butter, only to find I'd been duped by a red-capped smooth imposter!

william arthurs said...

Smooth foods are generally for infants. It's a vital issue in itself, but also the basis for a complex allegory. Hebrews 5:11-14. Also, I Cor 13:11.

Bruce Charlton said...

@Stephen - You have my sympathy. I've had a similarly traumatic, inadequate labelling experience, with respect to "Low Fat Greek Yoghurt" (which I would regard as an oxymoron).