Hullo Old Boy!
I was clearing out the attic last week and I found an oil painting and an old violin; so I just took them along to Sotheby's to get them valued.
They were a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius.
But that's marvelous!
Well... It turns-out that Rembrandt made terrible violins and Stradivarius was a lousy painter.
... (Collapse of stout party)...