...Is a common one for me. Indeed, I seldom seem to have a really clear head, except in the mornings - and even then not always.
It is a difficulty in concentrating, at one level - a tendency for thoughts to drift passively. More insidiously, the thoughts don't properly connect-up - one thought does not arise from another in a linear sequence, but they hop around - sparking and fizzling and doing nothing useful.
And yet, although dependent on external stimulation, I feel cut off from it. Because when thoughts are merely being-triggered, and don't amount to anything sustained, then one is (pretty much) stuck inside the buzzing confusion of the mind.
Of course, some extreme event or disaster will summon the energies - but that is just another version of passivity...
What I want is for thought to come from me, from the real me - and for that thinking to obliterate the gap between myself and everything else.
When this desired situation arises (or is, somehow, induced) then there is a sense of omniscience... not of 'knowing everything' but that everything being-thought is real. Everything I think IS.
This is to participate in creation, working from my own small but distinctive corner of creation.
It's rare; but that is what I am supposed to be learning to do.
