Wednesday, 18 August 2021

Ear Mullets - a proposal

As modelled by Ian Botham - one of England's best cricketers

The mullet hairstyle was most popular in the early 1980s, essentially as a working class and low status fashion - much reviled by the intelligentsia then and since. 

It comprised short hair everywhere except the back - where there was a broadly-rectangular flap of long hair, rather like the headwear of the French Foreign Legion:

So, the defining feature of a Platonically ideal mullet is the rectangular back flap, in a context of generally short hair.  


Interestingly, as a consequence of the widespread mental derangement induced by the 2020 birdemic, the mullet is currently making a (not-entirely-ironic) comeback among English university students. 

But this can be put down to the mindless recycling and rotation of fashions under the continuing Modern (demonic) compulsion that there Must Be fashions - in 'science', 'art' and 'literature', as much as clothes and hair. 

But if we lived in more genuinely creative and original times - we would have explored the full range of possible men's hairstyles before engaging in mere revivalism. 

And true and authentic ear mullets have never yet been given a proper trial. 


The 'ear mullet' name has been falsely given to what are merely a revival of the orthodox Jewish side curls in front of the ear. 

However, the genuine ear mullet style would comprise short hair all over but with a rectangular flap of hair - one covering each ear - something rather (but not exactly) like this:



So, I am proposing that Ear Mullets - defined as rectangular ear flaps, completely covering both ears, in a context of generally short hair should be given at least a reasonable try-out.

(Ideally, each flap should be long and wide enough completely to obscure the ear - but no larger.) 

It strikes me as the perfect hairstyle for late 2021 - something which encapsulates the spirit of this era; especially when worn with a face-mask.