U.S.—Theologians around the country have finally come forward to publish their findings on church attendance over the internet.
"Yes, faithful church attendance over Zoom still counts," said theologian Corby Mcgillicutty of Emory University. "But it will only allow you access to heaven over Zoom.
Don't worry though-- it's basically the same thing. Heaven isn't a building! It's about being with the people you love, worshipping forever! You can totally do that over Zoom."
Experts say that faithful Zoom church attenders will be treated to all the same great worship, scenic views, and golden mansions that in-person Heaven attendees enjoy, but will simply have to access them from the comfort of their own home computer or cellular device. "Sounds super convenient!" said one faithful church attendee.
From The Bablyon Bee - of course
The concept of a 'supertruth laugh' is something I got from an old favourite book from my late teens, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M Pirsig.
Here the BB satirist 'says it all' with a brief joke...
If online church is real - then so is online Heaven.
But if online Heaven would not really be real; then online Life is a fake too.
And if online Life is a fake - the world consented to a kind of partial but substantial mass suicide in 2020.
And if most people have not noticed the fact; then they are already - partly - dead.
Semi-serious question: Is it better to worship regularly in person [masked, naturally] with those who 'pass' the litmus tests, or to worship on Zoom with those who fail all three?
By the way, there is some blogger issue with this post. The text briefly flashes up then disappears (happens on both Android and Windows) I can read it only with 'View page source'
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